Charger (The Protectors Series) Book #16 Read online

  Raven stared down at it for a few more minutes until it became blurry. Nodding, she wiped her tear-damp eyes. “Thank you.” Her voice cracked. She moved past him and up the stairs, trying to keep her shit together.

  She heard Chantel coming up behind her, but she couldn’t acknowledge the woman without losing control, and she couldn’t do that, not yet. The door to Tracy and Jake’s room was open. Raven slowed, and taking a deep breath, she made herself walk through it.

  Tracy lay on the bed, looking as if she were taking a nap. Walking closer, Raven stared down at her best friend and wanted to scream her rage but didn’t. Her eyes roamed over Tracy’s face, then down to her neck, and a small sob escaped her lips, but still, no tears fell. Jake had tied a scarf around her neck, hiding where the pole had damaged her. Even being a vampire, in death they would not heal. The scarf was tied crudely, so Raven reached down and straightened it so it would be up to Tracy’s standards.

  “Raven, I don’t think she needs anything done,” Chantel whispered beside her. “She looks like a complete angel.”

  She couldn’t agree more but only nodded. Reaching out with her fingers, she brushed Tracy’s hair away from her cheekbone, the chain from the necklace trailing behind, skimming Tracy’s smooth skin. For just a second, Raven prayed for Tracy to open her eyes and give her that “gotcha” look, but Raven knew that wasn’t going to happen, and it killed her soul.

  “Honey, I’m going to give you a few minutes.” Chantel leaned down and lightly kissed Tracy on the cheek and did the same to her. “I’ll wait to get Jake.”

  “Thank you,” Raven whispered, reaching out and giving Chantel a tight hug for understanding what she needed.

  The door shut behind Chantel with a soft click. Alone, Raven sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “This isn’t supposed to be happening, Trace. How am I going to do anything without you cheering me on or… bitching me out?” Raven smiled sadly. “You’re the only person in this fucked up world who knows all my secrets. I don’t care if I sound selfish or not. I am selfish because, dammit, I need you here with me. Fuck!”

  Standing, Raven paced around the room, doing her best not to explode with emotion. If she did, she would lose herself, and this moment was not about her. Yet here she was, making it about her feelings. A crazy laugh escaped her throat as she looked down at Tracy.

  “See, I’m fucked up already, and you’ve been gone less than thirty-six hours. I know… I know. I hear your voice telling me to suck it up, buttercup, and grow a pair, but without you, that seems so impossible.” Raven returned to her friend’s side and sat down. She leaned close as if getting ready to tell a secret, and she did. “You always were one who rooted for me and Charger. I know this would make you happy, even though it has turned my insides into an absolute mess, but we finally did it. You were right when you told me one day he would cave… I would cave. Well, I hope you’re happy because we caved. I know you’re probably going to take all the credit.” Raven snorted as if she was having a real two-sided conversation with her best friend until she leaned up, her eyes watching for Tracy’s excited, “I told you so” smile light her face. It didn’t happen, and it fucking crushed her. Sobs shook her body from the reality that her friend was really gone from her life forever. “I’m so sorry, Trace. It should have been me, not you.”

  It wasn’t until strong arms pulled her up from the bed that Raven realized someone had come into the room. She knew that someone was Charger. Already, she knew his touch. Raven buried her face into his chest as her body shook uncontrollably, and tears refused to dry up. This was new territory for Raven. She never cried, especially in front of anyone other than the person lying dead, her only confidant who was no longer there for her to cry on or with.

  Charger remained silent as he held her tightly against him, allowing her time to slow her sobs or, in this case, swallow them, but once she started, it was hard to stop. Finally, she seemed to gain some control. Pulling away, she wiped her face but couldn’t look up at Charger. “Sorry,” she mumbled, embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable state.

  Their eyes met when his hand under her chin lifted her face up to his. “Never be sorry, Raven,” he said, and the sincerity in his voice rang true. “I’m here for you. Never forget it.”

  Another sob stuck in her throat, so she could only nod. He took her hand to lead her out of the room, but she stopped when she felt the necklace in her hand. “Wait.”

  Walking back to the bed, she reached up and took her matching necklace off. She then put Tracy’s necklace around her own neck before carefully leaning over. She picked up Tracy’s hand. She wrapped the chain around her friend’s wrist, just enough that it wouldn’t fall off, then opened her hand, placing the charm in her palm. She closed Tracy’s hand around the charm before hooking her pinky finger with Tracy’s. “I will never forget you, and I will think of you every day. Never will anyone replace you in my heart. Pinky promise.”

  Slipping her finger from Tracy’s was the hardest thing to do, but as she did it, she truly felt that her friend would somehow be with her always, and what little comfort that gave her, she took it.

  Raven turned to see Jake standing in the door, watching with tears in his eyes. “She loved you so much,” Jake said, then cleared his throat.

  Not knowing what to say, because honestly, she knew if she opened her mouth, sobs were going to escape, she just touched his arm as he passed. Raven and Charger watched as Jake gently picked up Tracy, then turned and passed them to head down the steps and out to the SUV.

  No one said a word as Charger carefully took Tracy so Jake could get in the back of the SUV. Once settled, he took his mate back into his arms. A haunted look crossed Charger’s face as he moved toward Raven, took her hand, then led her to his bike as Chantel and Creed climbed into the front of the SUV. Raven didn’t complain. In fact, she was glad Charger was here, not only for Jake, but for herself as well. It was a comfort she’d experienced little of most of her life, and yeah, she could get used to having him around during hard times, taking her hand. It was hard and tiring trying to be a badass bitch all the time. She climbed on the back of Charger’s bike. Wrapping her arms around him, she rested her head on his back, staring at the SUV that carried her friend to her final destination.

  Once on the road, Raven closed her eyes. A Guardian’s funeral was a short, sweet goodbye their way. She had seen more than her fair share, but this one was different, more personal. Opening her eyes, she saw the Ohio River, its muddy waters rough with small whitecaps caused by the barges rolling down the waterway. Lifting her head, her eyes caught the SUV in front of them. They still had a little way to go, so she laid her head back against Charger, continuing to watch the river as well as cars that they passed. Her attention was caught by a male and female who they were passing, then remained beside them down the highway. They looked to be a young couple. The guy was talking, and the female was listening attentively with a small grin on her face as she nodded, but both of them were looking straight ahead. Raven’s gaze went to the back. In a car seat was a cute little boy staring at her through the window. Raven smiled at the little boy, who gave her the biggest, brightest smile, clearly showing his missing bottom front tooth.

  Soon the little boy’s attention went elsewhere, and her smile faded as her eyes went back to the parents, who were now laughing. A feeling of loneliness hit Raven suddenly, and it confused her. She just witnessed, and obviously not for the first time, a family enjoying being a family. She had never had that, never really thought she wanted it.

  Lifting away from Charger, she loosened her hold on him as the wind whipped her hair around her face. Her gaze went to the back of his neck and down his broad shoulders. A yearning for something she never knew she wanted hit her hard. Glancing back at the car, she saw that the woman was watching her. Their eyes met, and the woman gave her a genuine smile before she turned toward her son in the back seat. The couple in the car was what normal looked like. Raven’s attention retur
ned to the SUV in front of them. Her life had never been normal, never would be normal, and for the first time in her life, she didn’t know if she was okay with that.

  What the fuck was happening to her?

  The highway ended and merged onto a two-lane road. It wasn’t long before they were pulling down a dirt path. It was curvy and bumpy, taking them further into the woods away from the main road. Finally, they broke through to a clearing where people stood still, watching their arrival. Kane motioned where they were to park. Once off the bike, Charger and Raven went to the SUV. Charger once again helped with Tracy, then Jake took her back and walked through the cluster of people, all Guardians—other than her—toward the platform that had been built.

  Stopping, she watched as Jake buried his face into Tracy’s neck. His body shook slightly. He carefully laid her on her back, made sure her dress, hair, and hands were in place before turning and stepping to the side, just enough to allow people to come up and pay their last respects.

  All Raven could do was stare at her friend. She had no idea how long they stood there, but Charger took her hand as they walked toward the platform. Charger leaned over and kissed Tracy on the cheek, then moved aside. Raven reached out, touching her friend’s hand that held the charm. “Rest easy, Trace,” she whispered, then kissed her softly.

  As they walked back to their place, she noticed a few people glaring toward her, but when their eyes met, they quickly looked away. Head held high, she stood there. Kane walked toward Jake with a torch, which he passed to the grieving Guardian. Kane stepped back. There was a long hesitation before Jake put the flames to the cloth that was placed between the boards to ignite. Other than the crickets and tree frogs, the night was filled with silence. The moon peeked out, casting the clearing in shadows. Soon the area was alight with flames from the fire that was taking a good woman from this world to another. Guardians, as well as most vampires, did not believe in burial. Fire, they believed, released one’s soul to be free and not trapped by earth. Raven agreed. It was a Guardian’s burial, and Tracy deserved no less. Her eyes fell on Jake, who, once the fire had done its job, turned and walked into the darkness alone, not once looking back.

  Everyone started to step back once the heat of the fire became unbearable, but Raven remained with Charger at her side until the fire burned down and Tracy was no longer physically among them.

  Chapter 19

  Charger stood in the kitchen, his eyes scanning the crowd inside the house he used to share with Raven and Val. Now it was just him and Kane.

  Their place was known as the party place, and if Charger was being totally honest, he was tired of it. All he wanted was for everyone to go, but he knew they needed to be together. It was just the way they were when shit went down and, shit was definitely going down. Things were looking very grim, which was why he’d reached out to Val. Even as nasty and personal as things got between them during their last encounter, Charger needed him. It was time to work out their problems for the greater good, and Charger was man enough to admit that.

  He contemplated on talking to everyone about what was taking place, but Jake wasn’t here. Kane had invited anyone who wanted to hang out to stop by. He had even invited some of the Warriors. So far, only Katrina had shown up and was talking with Raven and Chantel. He would see how the night progressed before he made the decision to talk to those present on his future plans.

  His eyes stopped on Sonya, who was talking a mile a minute with one of the Guardians, Matt, who had been giving Raven looks Charger didn’t appreciate. The Guardians were crazy as fuck, but they were a tight family. He knew some in this room felt that Raven no longer belonged, and he was sure some were upset she was at Tracy’s ceremony. Charger didn’t give a shit.

  The Guardians didn’t have a hierarchy like the VC, but Charger was pretty much an elder at the ripe old age of thirty-something. Hell, he couldn’t even remember how old he really was. When hundreds of years passed, you tended to forget shit like that.

  “I don’t know why she’s here,” he heard Sonya saying, not sure whether she was talking about Katrina or Raven. “And for Raven to think she is welcomed to a Guardian ceremony is ridiculous.”

  Charger’s eyes narrowed, then went toward Raven. He could tell she heard Sonya since Sonya wasn’t trying to keep her voice low.

  “Yeah, I think merging with the Warriors is a bad idea. I mean, what can they offer us that we can’t already do?” Matt, who was young, probably in his early twenties, had been turned five years ago. He mostly worked for the Kentucky unit, but if they needed help, Jackson Riley would send some guys his way and vice versa. Charger had worked for so many Guardian units he had lost count. “We could run circles around them.”

  Charger snorted, gaining a few looks. He ignored them and took a drink of beer. The door opened as Steve, Blaze, Adam, and Jared walked in. Jared went straight to Raven, giving her a hug. Charger nodded to them as Kane walked up to welcome them in. None of them came to Tracy’s ceremony because it was private, as were the Warriors’ ceremonies when they lost one of their own. It was respectful, an unspoken rule. But they were here now to show their support. That said a lot about Sloan and his crew.

  “See, she picked them over us. Why are they even here?” Sonya continued, her voice grating on his nerves. “She isn’t a Guardian anymore by her choice and shouldn’t have been at the ceremony. Even the Warriors know that. None of them showed.”

  “Do you have something you need to say to me, Sonya?” Raven’s voice caught his attention. He sat down his beer. “Obviously you do since I’m standing right here and can hear every word you’re saying, yet you are not saying it to my face.”

  “Been a while since we saw a good fight in the old party house.” Creed was leaning on the counter, looking at Raven over his shoulder. “A girl fight at that. I’ll have to take Raven on this one. She’s got that underlying rage look about her.”

  “Actually, I do.” Sonya put her hand on her hip. “I think I speak for everybody that you don’t belong here. Your loyalty is definitely in question.”

  “Ah, Sonya.” Creed raised his beer as if holding up his hand as he turned around to face the drama unfolding. “You aren’t speaking for me, darlin’, but go ahead and continue. Just wanted to make that clear.”

  “And would that have something to do with Charger?” Raven shocked a lot of people with that comeback. It was a well-known fact Sonya had been trying to get with Charger for years. A few even made the oooh sound. Yeah, Guardians could fight with words almost as good as they could fight with their hands.

  Raven actually glanced his way, and he gave her a cocked eyebrow look. She really went there. When she shrugged at him, he couldn’t help but grin. Was that a little jealousy he detected? Though Raven had absolutely nothing to be jealous of.

  “No.” Sonya hissed, not looking too sure of herself now that she opened her mouth. “You are a traitor. You walked away from the Guardians, and we think you need to stay gone. You are not welcome here.”

  Charger watched as she physically stopped Chantel from going toward Sonya, then heard her say, “I got this.”

  “Well, you better because I’m about to make that little girl piss her panties.” Chantel’s full attitude came into play as her hand went straight to her hip, all the while glaring at Sonya. “And I’m with Creed, you definitely aren’t talking for me.”

  “Listen and listen good, Sonya, I’m going to let this go one time, but if you ever call me a traitor to my face or behind my back again, I will teach you a whole new meaning to the word pain.” Raven stepped away from Jared to stand in front of Sonya. “I would take a bullet for anyone in this room, Guardian or Warrior, and that includes your bitch ass, so never talk to me about loyalty. And as for the Warriors, while you were in the corner covered in drywall crying, these Warriors came to help us. Why I transferred is not and never will be any of your fucking business, and for the record, I was at the ceremony because my best friend died. I’m not here for anyon
e else in this room other than Tracy and Jake. Obviously, you wouldn’t understand that. Now wrap those petty-ass lips around another bottle of beer and shut the fuck up before I shut you up.”

  Charger noticed Ryker walk in the door during Raven’s calm tirade, a grin splitting the man’s lips as he watched Raven give Sonya shit. Yeah, this dude needed to learn real quick that Raven was off-limits. Creed may get his wish for a fight in the old house because if Ryker didn’t get the picture, there would be bloodshed.

  “What?” Raven tilted her head, still staring at Sonya. “Don’t have anything else to say? Good. And for the rest of you who don’t think I belong or that I’m a traitor, fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think about me, but remember I will be more than happy to save your ass, Guardian or not.”

  Matt spoke up when Sonya remained silent, his gaze narrowing on Raven. “You walked out on your unit. Why are you even here? Why are they here? We don’t need their help.”

  “Looks like someone is drinking Sonya’s Kool-Aid or dipping his dick in the nectar,” Creed said, causing Sonya to gasp as she glared his way.

  Steve had walked up with Adam to the counter during all the back and forth. “This normal for you guys, talking shit about us?” Steve took the beer Charger handed him. “If that’s the case, I need to start the shit talk during our meetings about you all. Then again, we don’t really do that, though I have a few good demon jokes.”

  Charger noticed things had started to calm down somewhat, then groaned when Creed chuckled, feeding into Steve’s crazy.

  “Is that so? Give me your best one.” Creed grinned at Steve. “No Warrior can outdo a Guardian on demon jokes.”

  Adam moaned just as Steve snorted, then cracked his knuckles. “Okay, three guys die in a car accident, right, and end up in hell. Realizing where they are, they go and find the devil. They plead with him to let them go to heaven. The devil comes up with an idea and points to a huge escalator with some of the most beautiful, hottest women you have ever seen. He informs them that if they can make it up to heaven without screwing any of the women, then they were free to go. The catch was, if they did the nasty with even one of them, the devil would do something to them that was related to their job on earth.” Steve glanced around, noticing he had an audience and chuckling at his own joke before the punchline was evident to anyone else. “So, the first guy goes and can’t resist fucking the first woman. The devil asks what his job was. The guy nervously replies, ‘A mechanic.’ The devil rips his dick off with pliers. The second guy goes and can’t resist doing the nasty with the woman in the middle. The devil asks him what his job was. He replies, ‘A carpenter.’ The devil saws his dick off.”